Updated: Oct 11, 2021
This weekend I spent some time with my 2 year old grandson. It is always a joy to spend time with him.
His ability to meet life in that state of wonder and curiosity reminds me of the amazing world that we live in.
Over the course of the past few months, I have noticed a new way that he up shows up and that brings us both delight. That is the ability to move in to a place of what society would call “ornery”. When I looked up the word in the dictionary it said “unpleasant.. stubborn. I thought the definition does not fit. So I began to think what place was his going.. that twinkle in his eye when his Dad said: “Now you know you need to sit down in your chair” the way he slightly tilts his head to let us know ” I am not sure I want to do what you are telling me to do.” As I was thinking about this way he was showing up, visions of my Grandfather came to mind in his later years that were very similar to the look I saw from my Grandson.
And then it struck me that it is not about words, it is the non verbal, that wonderful ability to say without words; I am going to test the boundaries.. I am not sure if I agree with what you are telling me to do.. I am still the captain of my own life. When we are 2 and when we are 82 there is a reality that we are dependent on the wills of those who are charged with our care. I am sure that at both 2 and at 82 it is important for our own well being to push the boundaries of those telling us what to do and how to do it. My grandfather use to come up and “accidentally” clip you with his cane. He would smile and say “Oh I’m sorry must have not seen your toe there.” We would laugh and say “Grandpa” he would have that same little smile and twinkle that I saw in my Grandson this weekend and off we would go play in delight at how funny Grandpa could be.
Somewhere along the line we get in to the habit of doing what we are told to do because it is proper or safe and society says that is how it should be done. I suppose in a civilized society we must flow with the rules of propriety to keep things running smoothly. But for me what I learned this weekend, is that the ability to “be in delight of I don’t think so” is something we should not loose, but cultivate as a part of what makes us this amazing complex system that with the twinkle of an eye remind all involved at 2 or 82 we are the director of our own play.