Today I was listening to a podcast between Brené Brown and Maria Shriver. In it Brené said you need to Trust the Knowing. I might have heard her say it before, but today, I had a moments of clarity. I really needed to hear those words. This is a big year for me in terms of the many decades I have circled around the sun. Still have a hard time saying it out loud.
Lately I have found myself questioning what I knew and if what I thought I knew was enough to move me in to this next phase of my life.
And then I heard Brene talking and realized that I had lost trust in my ability to know. Because at the end of the day that is all that we have. Our knowing comes from living life; the one we signed up for, the one that we show up in everyday, the one that continues to patiently wait for us until we are ready to take another step.
I have had enough validation in my life that some people think I have a bit of wisdom. I once heard Wisdom is pain that has been healed. I like many have had my share of pain in my life.
I have been honest in that I have been around the disease of addiction and recovery my whole life. I literally do not remember a moment when I did not have someone I know who was struggling with this disease. Addiction is cunning and baffling. It can take you hostage if you let it. There are times when being around this disease has caused me to question my own reality. That is what addiction does. Addiction lives in the darkness, whether it be from drugs, alcohol, food or money. It thrives on secrecy. The antidote is to be open and real and share your experience, strength an hope. And to have faith that you are worth the effort.
I have found comfort in groups that allow me the ability to share my story and listen while other people share theirs. It is in those rooms that I most realize that I have had almost 40 years of trusting in a power greater then myself that will restore me to a place of wellbeing and knowing. I continue to go to these meetings on a regular basis, because it is one place where I can trust in the knowing. Where I know from being witness to the growth and change in those I have come to know over the years, that I am secure in the knowing of my own growth.
So grateful I got the reminder today to Trust in the Knowing. Once again the teacher appears when we are ready to hear.